On the edge
by merawinchester
Summary: Kinda of AU to season 9 . When Sam gets hurt in 8x23 angels refuse to help and Dean will summon something that he knows no idea about him from a book that he found in a secret room in the bunker Hurt/comfort Adventure Family Rated T just in case Chapter 5 is added * thanks for the great people who follow , favorite and made it to ch4 *
1. Chapter 1

The last thing Sam was able to remember was that he was there in that abandoned church with Dean. Then Dean asked him to let go; so he tried to let go but, that caused great pain to occupy his body and then it felt like black curtains were dropped over his eyes and he was not able to feel anything...

The next thing he felt was his wish to give up, to find comfort by dying or by anything else.

He felt like his soul wasn't able to take any of this anymore and his body felt worse. He was tired of this kind of pain; he really believed that he screwed up every single thing he tried. He believed that he caused Dean and the world so much damage but, he was able to fix the world and the world was able to fix itself after that. Then there was Dean, he knew that Dean was still not able to get over a lot of things that he did to him, that endless times he let him down. Then, he thought to himself that he got punished enough for what he did … he lost the girl he loved when he didn't look for Dean. If he had looked for him, he wouldn't have met her and then he lost his soul and Cas broke the wall in his head after that and suffered **Hell** over and over again .

He just needed to give up but, then something happened, he felt like there was someone building walls to protect his soul. He felt that someone had finally come to grab his soul , his soul that was drowning in pain and guilt, out of the thing that was eating him up, **purifying** him from the bad and the demon blood inside him!

What was powerful enough to save him from all of this so easily? That was the last thing Sam asked himself before opening his eyes...

# The Waking Up

Sam opened his eyes with a great gasp to let enough air inside his lungs. He felt like he was under water for a long time and finally someone helped him to get out. His body shook like it had just came back from the dead,(and it was not actually wrong as he was almost dead!)

" Sam ! Sammy ! " it was Dean's voice . He searched with his eyes to find him, he was still fighting to breathe and to have a stable vision of the room. His heart was beating like it was going to explode and he felt like sharp knives were cutting into his lungs. His chest rose higher and sank down, quickly as he tried to have enough air to breathe.

"Hey body ! You look at me .. ah everything is going to be fine , I got you little brother and you are just fine " Sam meditated on Dean's face , that was only thing helping him to calm down and to recognize what was going on.

Dean was crying and he looked miserable. He felt miserable but Dean seemed to be worse than him.

Dean looked like he didn't sleep for at least three days or maybe even more and the look in his eyes said more. The look said all about the great fear inside Dean; that he was trying to reach Sam for so long and he was not able to .. .that he can't believe that they finally got through like they always do.

" Sammy ? Can you talk to me?" Dean said putting his both hands on Sam's face.

Sam's breathing started to get back to normal and he was coming back to reality slowly " Yeah! I think I can. I think I am fine ..Can you just give me a cup of water ? Please ? "

"Yeah! Sure." Dean said after giving Sam a long hug - that Sam needed so much - and he gave him a small squeeze on his shoulder then he quickly got him the cup of water he asked for.

"What happened " Sam asked still trying to catch his breath

Dean stayed silent for a while then he looked at the person who was resting his back against the window of the room.

He was a tall man with short dark hair from the back and little long from the front as some of it was covering one of his silver eyes. He crossed his arms against his chest and his eyes were closed. He was wearing a black leather jacket over a black t-shirt with black jeans . He looked like a hero from the Japanese manga, a rock star or maybe a gang member.

When Sam looked at him he tried to remember what had happened; then, he did.

"Dean , No ! For the god sake! What did you did this time? What kind of deals did you make to save me again? Is this a demon or A . . . reaper? Is he here waiting for you to say goodbye before he takes you. . ." Sam stopped for a while putting his face in his hands trying to stop himself from crying.

" Sam .." Dean tried to explain and to help his brother to calm down.

"No , Dean ! Let him take me instead, ok ? I was ready anyway. I was …" Sam couldn't continue. He felt like he wasn't fully recovered yet, his soul was still too tired to take this stress any further and his body was not much better. He started crying.

Dean looked at the guy standing there with a begging look, tears in his eyes. He really wanted him to help them, to save Sam and to calm him down.

The guy felt Dean's gaze so he opened his eyes slowly then he started to untie his arms. The thing that seemed to be an accessory- which it was not by the way - made a familiar noise to Sam's soul.

He was wearing a red ring made of jade which was attached to a armlet. The armlet was made of silver that was mixed with blood, so it's color was unique, with a couple of thin silver chains

He walked towards them and put a hand on Sam's shoulder. What amazed Sam was that he felt comfort immediately and all that tension in his body faded with the wind .

The man sat down beside Sam. Dean with still there looking at him hoping that he could really help.

The guy said "Ae Fe ! Le Haf ! La Melo Oe Shea " he said in his own language but, Sam felt like he was able to understand and just before he was trying to think about what that guy said he found him saying that in Lati " Aperi oculos tuos. Nolite timere. Ego daemonium non est angelus aut "

Dean was just staying silent, watching nervously, trying to understand what that guy was saying to Sam .

Sam almost understood him.

The guy said it again in English " Open your eyes . Don't be afraid . I am not an angel or a demon. " Sam opened his eyes . The guy's voice helped him to feel warm and safe. His voice seemed to be so deep and manly and that soft tone he used to talk to him helped him to feel like the world had- suddenly - became so peaceful.

Was that how Dean felt when Cas got him out from hell? Sam asked himself.

When Sam first open his eyes he couldn't help but look at that thing the guy was wearing . That familiar noise, he just felt that noise was a sign they were connected, like it was describing what they both were feeling .

" What are you ?Who are you ? " Sam asked . He had stopped crying by then. Emotionally he wasn't that stable yet but, he was getting back to normal. He just took a deep breath, trying to hide that he felt like a lost child, who wanted to cry for the next thousand years and to just run away from this cruel world. He felt like he was able to trust the guy but, even with that he didn't want him to see his weaknesses. Yet, there was something in his heart that was telling him that he had already known about it all and that this guy was -maybe- the one who saved him .

The man smiled at him kindly. Sam was able to see his white skin - which was shining like diamonds. He was so close, he looked so beautiful, and there is nothing in the world looked like that ! Not even in heaven !

" My name is Alan . Your brother called and I just came to help and about **What** **am** **I **! It is kind of long a story . Near Onea Dea.." he started talking in his language again , he knew that Sam's soul was able to understand him with the deep connection between them , but he didn't want to exhaust his soul more than it already was so he started talking in English again " I mean me and Dean will explain that to you later . The most important thing that you need to know now is that there are no deals , there is no danger and no one is going to lose anything "

Dean was searching Sam's face all that time just to know how he was feeling and what he was thinking about and when he felt like that Sam was ok with that , a sigh of relief - that he didn't recognize he was holding back - came out of him and the tension in his body started to fade away

A/N : Just wanted to say great thanks to my best friend celeticprincessx3 for being my beta for this story and for giving me all support all I needed . For being my best friend thank you so much ❤️


	2. Chapter 2

p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"When he felt like Sam was ok with that , he let out a sigh of relief - that he didn't recognize he was holding back - and the tension in his body started to fade away /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" You need to get some sleep Sammy ! Alan did his best to fix you without hurting you ..what you have been through was so great that nobody was able to fix it , but he did . So from now on you need to take it step by step until you fully recover " Dean said seriously while he was in the protective **big brother** mood ./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Sam was going to answer when he looked at the TV and saw news about the falling stars " Dean ! What the hell ? Did the angels.."/span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Dean cut him off" Yes , Sammy ! *They did fall* , but you are not going to worry about that now . We are going to figure it out like we always do . So just get some sleep " he said trying to be kind /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" What about Cas ? " Sam asked feeling tension risingin his body again as he became nervous in his - hesitated- tired mood /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" He is fine , but not fine at the same time ! " he tried to explain but it was hard for him /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" Dean .." Sam pushed /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" The writer of god tracked him - like he did to us all - he took his grace and now he is only huma .. "/span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" Oh god ! This can't be happening! " Sam said while he lied down back in bed /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" Just don't worry about that , ok ?! He is going to get himself here and if he wasn't able to I would go and get him . Alan is also here I guess he can help " he said with a small smile looking at Alan who crossed his arms against his chest again " Sure I will ! Whatever I can help with ." He said seriously with a small smile ./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Sam watching him, wondering how he was able to be like that ? He was everything and it's opposite at the Same time. Soft and hard , serious but funny , damaged but looking new , so old but also so modern , too tired but so powerful. He felt like he was a mixture of a lot of things all at the Same time . Sam wondered what he was and every time Sam looked to his eyes he felt like Alan's eyes were oceans and he was drowning in them ./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" What about having some sleep like Dean offered ? This is really going to help your soul and your body to recover faster . " Alan offered /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" I ..ah .. I need to get back to the bunker " Sam said as he tried to stand up . His shaky legs and his heavy -drudged- head didn't help him to stay upright; he was going to fall down. Dean got nervous and tried to get him but, Alan was faster. He put one of his hands behind his back and that was it. Sam didn't fall and his shaky body rested on Alan's hand /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Alan helped him to sit down and then he knelt in front of him and he said seriously " Look at me Sam ! I am so sorry that I can't help you to get rid of your misery as quick as angels . I need you to know that it is taking me so much power just to be here, this human shape is not a vassal, it is me forming my power to be like that and that thing around my right hand is kind of a seal. If I use too much power it will break and you will not find this world again after that ! I am that powerful and I can't help that . It is just the same with your soul , I use too much power and you are not here anymore or if you are here you will be not good anymore. I am cursed, but you are pure so I won't take that chance . Just let us take it step by step from here , ok ? " /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Sam looked at him deeply. He seemed to be wounded and bleeding from the inside. He seemed to have a lot of cuts but nobody was helping him heal them. He seemed to be lonely; he just seemed to be like him !/span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Sam cleared his throat " You ..ah ..don't seem to be cursed " Sam said with sad sneer on his face and tears in his eyes . /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" I am the one who is cursed " Sam said that to himself /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"" You are not ! I am going to show you " he felt that words from Alan just inside his mind . Alan didn't move a lip ,but even with that he was able to give him comfort./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Alan smiled a small sad smile and then half of his covered eye appeared . It was not silver like the other , it was full of clouds !/span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Alan thought that it was going to frighten Sam so he covered it quickly and looked away. He was wearing something off from his neck ./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Sam didn't find his eyes frightening, some how he just found it beautiful and he didn't think he was cursed so he whispered to him "It is ok " /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"Alan took off two parts of silver ring that were around his neck . He helped Sam to wear a half of the silver ring around his neck and he gave the other half to Dean then he started saying " You keep those around your necks all the time. When I am away you hold them tight and you call me. When I am out of control you put the two parts together then I will go back to the place I came from and for you Sam this is going to help your body and your soul heal. So you got that ? " he asked/span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"They both nodded. /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;"He smiled at them, a small smile and said " I am going to wait outside until you and Dean are ready so we can get you home " he didn't wait for their answer he just went out to let him have some privacy and some brotherly time./span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;"span style="font-size: 12pt;" /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;" /span/p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 13.8px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"span style="font-size: 12pt;" /span/p 


	3. Chapter 3

When Alan went out Dean stayed silent for a while, he expected Sam to have an inner tantrum or something. He expected Sam to yell or scream at him but, nothing happened! Sam was totally **Calm** and that scared the hell out of Dean .

"Sammy " Dean said softly and carefully, still waiting for the coming storm.

" Yes," Sam answered still so calm and still looking at the floor, looking at the place Alan knelt in front of him

"I am going to explain everything ..ah..Alan is .." Dean hesitated. That was complicated and he didn't know where he should start expaling!

" He ..ah seems to be a good guy, " Sam cut him off.

Dean was surprised and took a couple of steps closer to Sam . He grabbed a chair and sat in front of him " You ..really mean that ? " Dean asked -raising his eyebrows and his eyes got wide. He was still surprised. Still searching Sam's face for any signs.

" Didn't you feel like that when Cas saved you ? Like this is not normal ..like you were chosen! At first, Cas did that because he had orders. Yes but, after that everything he did, he did for you, he chose you but Man this guy outside..I don't know ! It seems like he answered the call because it was me like when Cas always answers because it is you .." Sam became nervous, he hesitated, thinking, while he raised his head so his eyes were able to meet Dean's

Dean sighed . He didn't know what to say. Remembering how it felt with Cas, got him to his own gulf of overthinking. All the memories he had with Cas , all the things that Cas did form them - especially for him - and then he started wonder how Cas was right then! He was so worried about him.

" You trust the guy and I got that but even with that I still ..ah..owe you some kind of explanation. You know there is hell, heaven , purgatory and human world right ? There is another world ! A fifth world . " Dean said trying to get out of his own thoughts.

Sam stayed silent waiting for him to continue. He seemed to be interested in knowing more about Alan.

" The fifth world gives our worlds enough power to exist and to be steady ! That kind of things you know ..I also found out that the end of the world would never start with us as long as he is alive because he was there all of the times hunters lost their fight and he fixed everything ..When there were big loses of course that nearly ended the world as well but then he helped to repair it , healing people and he even worked like the angels and reapers work when they were wounded .." Dean was now immersed in the research role . He was just gals to have all that attention from Sam , that was how he knew that Sam was fine .

" The most important thing is that he is the last one of his kind ! He doesn't even belong to this world ! His kind came from alternative worlds and they were so powerful they stay in them , they lived here and they helped this world to stay steady just like mountains do with the Earth; but then they got tired and they had a lot of fights with badass humans , monsters , demons , angels , reapers and Lucifer himself . So they decided to kill themselves and they all did. They believed he was cursed as they were not able to kill him ..men of letters say that they were not able to kill him as his cruse was his love for humans and only one human he chose would be able to kill him . His name in their language is Alea and that means the cursed. "they both stayed silent for a while. It seemed that Sam was thinking deeply over every word Dean said. Most of what he said were just legends and he knew that . He also knew that if he wanted to get the real and full truth he could only can get it from Alan himself .

" To be honest I didn't think he was going to answer my call ! You came here almost dead and I asked angels for help but none answered .." Dean lied about that as he had a great fight with angels and none of them were willing to help Sam

" It is very hard for him to keep control here , he has a lot of pent-up power that he is trying hard to control just to be here , I think that is the reason he is so calm ..maybe he is saving power or something " Dean said that last part as joke and they both smiled

" So why do you think he answered your call ? " Sam asked seriously.

" I have no idea ! Maybe your death will lead to great results that may cause the end of the world ? " Dean offered

" No ..it doesn't seem like that ! You said it yourself .. he is so powerful, even more so than the devil himself ! You said he let the hunters take the lead because every time he appears big loses happen , but now the world is so peaceful and he is hurting no one ..worlds are steady just like they were when he was at full-power in his world and that means he is only hurting himself..so why the hell he is doing that just for me ? " Sam asked

" Maybe his love for the humans ! Or maybe because I found the spell to summon him in a secret room in the bunker so maybe people didn't know about him and if they did I am sure that they didn't know the way to call him! " Dean explained

" Maybe .." Sam said not very convinced with what Dean said

" I think we need to hurry and get you ready. We don't want him to wait any longer; besides we still need to find Cas and make sure that Kevin is ok " Dean said helping him to stand up.

" Yeah ! You are right " Sam said trying to stand up with Dean's help.


	4. Chapter 4

I am fine . I am going to the bathroom and I will put my clothes on. I will ..ah take it from here " Sam said as he pulled his elbow out of Dean's grip.

" No , Sam ! You are not ! Just look at you . Your heavy body , shaky legs and drudged head . We have been through a lot to get you back here and you just can't.." Dean said angrily, Nearly yelling. That was his way to hide his fear and to push Sam to ask for help.

" Hell ! Yes , I know ..." Sam yelled back and that took all of the power he was saving . He started feeling ill again . His breath and his heart beats started to be unstable once more and he had a hard time controlling them . He tried not to show it so he sat down. His face went red because of the effort

" Ok ! That's fine " Dean said almost yelling again " I am going to get the car " he didn't wait for Sam's answer . He was just so exhausted , tired and worried about everything and seeing Sam like that without having any chance to help was eating him up even more than he imagined .

Dean left . The door made a great noise after him announcing that his own tantrum was brought into the battlefield.

" Oh God ! I can't take this anymore. Couldn't I just have died?" Sam mumbled tiredly to himself . He was more damaged than ever and wanted to be able to fix things or even to try to make them easier for both of them. He knew what Dean did for him and that's the reason he just didn't want to be a burden. He didn't want to ask for any further help.

" I have had worse ..ah I can do it by myself ..I am not disabled ..I can't be a burden again for Dean's sake .." he mumbled again, but he felt that this words did not help him to get better.

He tried to stand up . Suddenly his body became so cooperative and light like feather , like he was not the one who was moving it . He heard that familiar noise again , that noise of Alan's seal . He looked at the closing door feeling very wired . How was that possible? He was out but he can swear that he can feel his hands on his body carrying it to stand up and that noise helped his soul . He just felt so comfortable hearing it .

He closed his eyes against the coming power that was helping him . He was grateful for having someone helping him from afar and without making him feel that he was a burden.

Couple of minutes ago when Dean went out he found Alan resting against the wall in front of Sam's room . Again he was in that wired **saving power** mood which meant closed eyes and arms crossed across his chest .

Alan opened his eyes slowly looking at Dean, the silver color in them shining sadly . Dean did feel the sadness but he was also protective, he was also the big brother who has no cares but his brother's safety . He gave Alan that warning look which meant " I am so grateful for what you have done to help us , but if you think that you can take my place inside my brother you are wrong and if you going to make this a fight I will take it to the last point it can go."

Alan got what his gaze meant so he gave him a small smile and after Dean made a couple of angry steps towards the door Alan called " Dean ! "

Dean sighed and tried to control himself " Now what ? " he said with no patience, his tone tired and aggressive.

" No loses ! You remember . Just temporary help . " Alan reminded him of the deal they made. He remained in his saving mode.

" I do remember! It is I can't get it . Why the hell are you helping us ? In there ..there is my brother and I am just trying to trust you only for his sake .. I do not give a damn about what they wrote in books that you can't be killed and such things . You betray us I kill you myself . I tried to explain things in there , things my own mind cannot be convinced about until now. But you know you saw me ..I am damaged and I am different from anything you have ever seen. So one wrong move and you are not here anymore..and this world is going to be on our shoulders. Don't forget that you hear me ! " Dean said after he got closer to Alan, moving aggressively than before . He couldn't help being a solider. He was grateful for having help but this kind of life taught him that nothing is free . Especially when it comes to Sam , it is always comes with great sacrifices .

" I have my reasons .." Alan explained

" Yeah ! We are going to talk about that as well .." Dean said while walking towards the door but this this time he didn't turn to face him.

By the time all of that ended Sam was ready to get out , but it didn't feel that easy even with the help he is getting from Alan, who seemed to be a **new friend ** He used the wall beside him for support. It felt like it took ages to reach the door, like he had been walking since he was born and still was not able to reach the end . Walking with straight back seemed to be an impossible mission as well.

Sam opened the door to find Alan there in front of him . He met Sam with a smile " You feel better " he asked even though he knew the answer even better than Sam himself

" Yeah ! Good thank you " that was not the truth and they both knew it , but Alan didn't want to hurt Sam's pride and he didn't want him to feel that he was a burden. So they both accepted that as the truth .

Alan wasn't not able to give Sam a hand as he knew he was going to refuse , but he had his own ways as well . He uncrossed his arms once more and with that sealed hand he gave Sam a rub on his back and then Sam was able to walk with a straight back . They both knew that was not going to last for so long , it was just something like a supernatural pain killer and noting more , but Sam was grateful for having that much . He also had a lot of questions but he really want to get home first .

Alan took a couple of steps in front of Sam and he opened the heavy door for him . Sam stepped outside then Alan followed after him . They went out to find Dean having a serious talk with someone . Sam guessed that it might be Cas .

Dean ended the call when he saw them come out . He went to them quickly with the same angry and protective look in his eyes . He really hated seeing someone else having his brother's back instead of him , but he had no choice as Sam needed that stranger more than him at the moment .

Alan opened the front door for Sam to sit in the passenger seat beside Dean as always. Then he helped Sam to get in . That made Dean more jealous, angry and afraid but, he tried to control it as much as possible. He didn't want to lose his chance at keeping his brother alive . He would do anything and everything for him , without knowing all of what those words literally meant .

Sam knew what all of Dean reactions meant , but he couldn't help but looking at him with his puppy eyes . Telling him with looks that he was sorry and there was nothing that was going to affect what they had between them .

Alan got in the back seat and Dean started driving. The next couple of minutes were full of silence until Sam broke it " Was it Cas ? " Sam asked trying to get Dean's attention, who seemed to be drowning in his thoughts, almost like he was out of touch with reality. Sam waited for Dean to answer , but he got nothing even after waiting a while . He tried to say it out louder " Hallo Dean ! You hear me ? " Sam said like he was talking in microphone.

Dean got back to reality " What is it Sammy ? " Dean asked more calmly now . He forgot about Alan by then and was back to his usual mood .

Sam sighed " I am talking to you , Man ? What's going on? Was that phone call from Cas ?"

"Ah ! Yes it was !" He said sound a little uncomfortable. He didn't want to talk about it , he thought that was something they can solve with talking . Some how he felt like it was his own fault again and he felt guilty about it . Cas was doing what he was doing for the sake of human kind - especially for him - and all he got was a group of angry angels trying to get their revenge on him , being tracked and losing his grace .

Sam knew it was a big thing because of the silence that followed Dean's words and how his brother's eyes remained focused on the road . He knew that Dean didn't want him to know what he was thinking about , he didn't want to know how was he damaged from the inside after everything and how guilty he felt about all of it .

" So ..Was he ok ? " Sam asked . Kind of pushing but trying to be soft as well . Cas was also his friend and he wanted to know if he really was ok.

" They tried ..ah .. they tried to kill him .." Dean said quietly . He was so affected by what had happened " He is fine .. he is in the hospital now so you think you can ..you know make it to there with me ..I would completely understand if you didn't want .." Dean needed Sam to be there . He didn't know if he was able to face all of that side he wanted Sam to be in his sight at all times seeing he still doesn't trust the stranger.

" I think I can ! We can go back home when he is with us " Sam offered kindly .

" Ok ! Then get some sleep like your friend in the back seat " Dean said with a small smile . Feeling grateful that Sam agreed to come with him . He was always able to understand him even without talking ,that helped him to feel comfortable and that tension in his back and shoulders started to fade away .

Dean looked at Sam after speaking . He just wanted to make sure that Sam got that he was grateful , he was sorry and all that he needed was just to keep him safe .

After a while Sam went to sleep and it was silent until Dean's cell phone rang in his pocket . He tried to get it quickly while he was looking at Sam protectively as he didn't want the noise to wake him up . He believed that sleep was one of the most important things that he needed to get well .

Alan opened his eyes " Do not worry Dean ! He is kinda out of this atmosphere " he offered trying to make Dean a little comfortable

" Now ! What the hell do you mean? " Dean asked gruffly, nervous and surprised by the statement. He looked at Alan in the mirror.

" I mean I am blocking every single bad thing from annoying his sleep : The noise , the polluted air and even the nightmares..from the devil himself, from heaven and even from hell " Alan said, emotionally.

" Good! You keep that up and I will get this call ok ? " Dean said while he was getting out of the car to get the call. It was Kevin .


	5. Chapter 5

Alan smiled a small smile when Dean got out of the car . " He was not going to change " Alan said to himself . Dean was talking to him harshly until now even he knew that if Alan had wanted to hurt them he would have done that by then , but Alan new that was not going to be any easier as long as it was about Sam .

Alan gave a look on Sam and then his uncovered eye turned to be some kind of monitor that showed Sam's dreams , memories and thoughts. It was his way to filter whatever bad things he found in Sam's soul or mind . That was the reason he was setting all the time in that **saving power** mood as he was just helping Sam's soul without him knowing . Everything seemed to be under control until Sam's mind worked roughly and Alan was not able to control that dream which came from the deepest place from Sam's soul ..

" No , Sam ! You don't do that ! You know that I can not use more power or you will get hurt. Don't try to recognize me .." Alan whispered to Sam . Sam's mind didn't obey him and that time Alan knew that the only way to control that is to answer Sam's wish by sharing him his dream as he was calling him in there . The only way was to have a talk with Sam inside his own mind .

## In Sam's dream :

There was some kind of forest and Sam was there . He seemed to be tired , lost and searching for someone and then he found Dean and Cas , but even after that he didn't stop searching.

" We gotta do , Sam " Dean said gruffly as it was really dangerous to stay there any longer and Sam was walking ahead quickly not responding to his orders or demands .

" Sam ! Please , Can you answer me and Dean's call ? " Cas repeated Dean's order in his own way

" No ! I have to find him . We can't just go like that ! " Sam said as he started to walk even quicker and was getting more tired.

" Look , Man ! This hunt got you back on your heels. This ate us up . So let Cas handle that and come with me . Cas will bring you whoever and whatever you are searching for , but we gotta go " Dean said trying to be kind and rational to convince his brother as he knew how stubborn can Sam be .

" No , Dean ! I am not going to get out of here before finding Alan . He came to help us and you know his power is not that stable ! What if something bad had happened to him " Sam said getting emotional as he stopped to catch his breath.

" He is not a kid , Sam ! He is more powerful that the devil himself. He is more powerful than anything else we have ever seen or knew about so he is going to be damn fine " Dean said getting back to that aggressive , protective , solider and big brother mood .

" Sam .." Cas offered

" No ..No ! This is ah not going to happen ! In this life I have lost enough and I am not going to lose more ..if that was Cas you wouldn't have stopped until you found him .."

" Because unfortunately angels could get hurt " Dean cut Sam's words off , trying to be little calmer and even more rational

" We don't know .. " That time hearing Alan's seal was the the thing that stopped Sam . Sam sighed feeling relieved

" You called ? " Alan's voice came so soft like it was coming from heaven or even from a better place .

**Finally Alan was able to get inside Sam's dream . It also costed him a lot of courage as well . It would be a great problem if Sam knew the reason he was doing this .**

" Oh God ! Finally ! " Sam said while he turned to face Alan . Dean and Cas continued being in that protective position

" Sorry for being late ! It just took me time to make sure that the road was so safe so nothing would hurt you ..I finished the job so no need to worry no more " Alan said with a small kind smile

Sam grabbed him in sudden hug " The most important thing that you came back fine . Don't do that again and we need to get you a phone so we can contact you " he pulled out of the hug " I think that your phone will be able to get signal even when there is no signal because you are supernatural " Sam offered with a smile, having tears of happiness and worry inside his eyes .

**The dream ended there**.

Sam went back to his peaceful sleep and a single tear fell down from Alan's uncovered eye before opening it again .

It was very hard situation for him . It brought back all that memories that he was trying to ignore. He felt that his pain was getting stronger and being more alive than it was . That Sam needed him as friend that was killing him as he knew that he can't. He has his reasons..

Alan went out of the car throwing up and not feeling so well as being so emotional was increasing his power and making it hard to keep his human shape .

It was kind of a long conversation with Kevin on the phone and the minute he saw Alan like that he ended the call immediately and went him .

" What's the hell .." he said feeling surprised and maybe kind of sympathetic with him as the last thing he expected to see was Alan in that ill shape. He was also worried about Sam's chance of staying alive and that was the most important thing for him .

" I am fine ..just my power is increasing and I am controlling it " Alan explained

" What about Sam ? " Dean asked roughly, again !

" That has nothing to to with Sam ! " Alan said . That gruff tone in his voice was announcing that it was the deadline of that **Mistreatment** Dean was giving him . He cared about Sam as much as him , but he was not able to show it out just like him .

Dean stopped there as he knew that there was something honest about the warning look Alan gave him and the caring look Alan gave Sam . So he just went to the car in silence. Alan followed him and they continued the journey

After a couple of hours :

They made it to the hospital. Dean helped Sam to wake up and then they all went inside. Dean went ahead of them with quick steps and Alan walked with the same slow steps that Sam managed to make . He also offered a a hand on his back - which Sam didn't mind - to help him walking .

They made it to Cas's room . Dean gave them a a quick look then he was the first one to go inside .

" You follow your brother and I am going to wait here . You need to lay in a bed as well so don't exhaust yourself " Alan offered kindly

Sam nodded as he offered him a small tired , sad and kind of worry smile as well .

" Cas ! " Dean kind of yelled as he was not able to hide that worry tone in his voice " What had happened " seeing Cas so weak like that , laying in bed and waiting for help was tearing Dean's heart apart as he felt it all was his fault

" like I told you ..they are changing me saying that it is all my fault and it is as I was so stupid to be tracked like that ..they can't not find the writer yet so they only have to hunt me for now .." Cas said feeling tired , guilty and human !

Dean nodded. Sam was already in the room a while ago but as he followed Dean with slow , tired , weak steps and that they were a lot into the talk they were not able to feel him .

" Oh , Sam ! You are here ? You look so tired . I am happy to see you alive ."

" Thanks ,Cas ! I got a lot of help to be here as well and I am happy that I am seeing you alive as well " Sam offered with a smile

" What did the doctor said ? When can you get out ? " Dean asked still in his protective mood

" Couple of days I guess , but did the angels agreed to help you ? As what Sam went through was not easy for a human to overcome it by himself " Cas asked and before Sam can answer Dean said " No ! It is kind of ah a long story.." from the way that Dean said those words and the way he turned his sight between them that he need to talk to Cas alone .

" I am going to wait outside " Sam offered with a smile

Sam went out and then he saw Alan playing and talking with a little girl , she seemed to be sick and Sam really wanted to hear them so he didn't take any step closer. He thought that Alan didn't notice him or maybe he did but he acted like he didn't just to make Sam comfortable.

Alan helped the girl with five years old to set on his lab then he gave her a candy , the girl smiled sadly and said ". I can't eat it as I am sick "

" No ! You are going to be fine . Nothing is going to hurt you ! You are so strong and you are going to get over that " Alan said rubbing her back kindly.

Alan's seal made that noise again and from that Sam knew that he was healing her . He was just doing the same thing that he did to him , giving her hidden power that will be effective only when she has enough determination to fight this herself.

The girl smiled at him and she noticed his cloudy eye and said " Wahh! What a beautiful eye " Alan laughed at her reaction

**It was the first for Sam to see Alan smiling and it was so good that there were no words to describe that**

The girl touched his face kindly , he only smiled and moved his cheeks against her tough.

" You are so shining and your skin is so soft ..oh there is a name between the clouds ..your accessory noise seems to be saying the same name ..Sea ! Who is Sea ? " the girl wondered. Alan face changed and it felt like he became even more sad than he was when Sam first saw him .

The girl ran when she saw her mother leaving Alan drowning in his own misery.

Sam took a couple of steps towards him . He decided that was the best time to start a talk .


	6. Chapter 6

A\N ; **Hey guys** ! How are you all ? I hope that you are feeling the best thing ever . So this chapter is finally up ! I am sorry that it came up late , but i was so sick and it took me time to get better so forgive about that .

I really want to thank you all for making it to this chapter . Thanks to every single one who followed / Favorited and reviewed this story . Thanks to the people who is reading this even without leaving a favorite or a follow or anything . Thank you all guys !

I really have a lot of things to discuss with you ;

1- I am thinking of making **Dean's version** of the main idea to this story . it will not be the same story line , it would be different and Alan will not be Alan . He will be another character with different personality and attitude that will show up at the darkest point to help . So ! What do you think ? Should I give it a chance ?

2- This is nearly ending as i hope . I think there is going to be one more chapter or maybe two - hoping that will not turn out to be too long - so I think that I will tag the next chapter to the song *** Jealous *** and the last chapter to the song *Goodbye my lover * so , what do you think ?

For **Dean's version** of story - that I hope to start soon - I really want to tag the first chapter to the English lyrics of the song unravel of the great anime Tokyo Ghoul . The last chapter I want to tag it to Take me to church . i also hope to have one of the chapters tagged to Crazy in love .

3- **IF you are interested** in sharing writing or role playing about supernatural and vampire diaries just leave me a message or review whatever you want , then we can see what a great thing we are going to make together .

4- **For now** I am writing **long fiction** and **short imagines** . My **requests are open** \- for now - so i hope that i will have a chance to write **one shot requests** as first experience , so if you have an idea in your mind please tell me and do not hesitate . I promise to give you the best i have .

I started publishing short imagines here that i writ *** x reader *** in it so if you have a short imagine request do not think twice and let me know !

5- I have a blog on tumbler * **in-the-illusion*** there is where i post things for vampire diaries and supernatural . Mostly supernatural .

6- English is not my first language so you know...

Finally i want to tag **CelticPrincessx3 ; my faithful friend and the beta of this work . Thank you deeply for all that help and support . Thanks for being so paitent and understandable . Thanks for being my friend .**

 **shadowdancer33996 ; If you are reading this that means you made it to here as well and for me it is a graet news for me . Thank you so much . you were the one who told me the problem with last chapter so really thank you . I hope that you will enjoy this as well .**

 **##** **About the stranger :**

 **Sam took slow and tired steps towards Alan . He sat down feeling like his body is not helping him anymore. He really wanted to have a talk with Alan, to ask him about all of what was happening but he really didn't know where he should he start.**

 **Sam let out a tired sigh then smiled sadly at Alan " So .. this is the way you help us ! You don't interfere in our destiny..you just give us enough power to make our own path, right? " sam was talking about what had happened with a girl and what was happening to him .**

 **Alan smiled. He was avoiding looking directly at Sam's eyes as he was still emotional after the girl mentioned 'sea'**

 **" You are right ..I am ah ..kind of helping humans to help themselves. ..it is my duty " Alan explained**

 **Sam nodded " I don't think I can .." it came out as a whisper. He looked down and started crying.**

 **" I am too tired to be saved ...even with all that you are doing to help me. ..Hell..I don't feel like I can make it! My soul is so tired but, I just can't give up for Dean's sake ..for Cas and even for ..you . For all that you did to help me " Sam said wiping his tears away , trying to control himself and get back to normal.**

 **Alan put a hand on Sam's shoulder. He looked directly into his eyes .**

 **His eyes became like a monitor and then Sam was able to see a memory *his memory * when he was telling Dean that he is a whole new level of freak! And then Alan said " do you remember?! "**

 **Then Sam's voice came out of Alan " I am a whole new level of freak!"**

 **Sam was surprised and a little bit scared. It was like he was seeing his life through an old ancient cinema and that reminded him of old times. When hunters get scared that mean what happens is beyond the supernatural and even maybe the impossible.**

 **" If you were a freak , I would be able to save you ! To get you to my side , to bring you to my world , to protect you and be your friend , but as long as you are not then you need the angel beside you just like Dean! " Alan tried to help Sam's soul . He really didn't want to use more of his supernatural power as it would be dangerous to the walls in Sam's mind. They could be broken and then Sam would be able to recognize the truth and he would no longer be a normal human .**

 **Alan's words got Sam out of his surprised mood. Somehow Sam felt like he knew Alan forever and for some reason he felt guilty every time he looked at him .**

 **" I ..ah..really wish now if I were a freak " Sam said surprising even himself " I am really tired of it all ..I don't think I can do this anymore more . I really want to be with Dean , but maybe he will be just better off without me ! I am being a burden .. I don't want to leave him ..but staying with him like that ..I don't feel I am helping ! Cas can not give much helpas well ..now .. it is all on Dean's shoulders. Can't you just take me ? " it felt like Sam was having a talk with himself as he already knew the answer but he was so desperate and too tried to fight any longer.**

 **"Things that belong to heaven I do not take and sometimes things that belong to hell are my favorite. Unfortunately your soul and your brother's soul belong to heaven so even if you both lost your way there. Sadly I am the one who is going to guide you! " Alan said seriously, holding Sam tight and trying to get him back to reality.**

 **They sat in silence for a while after that. They both looked directly into each other eyes and Alan's grip became tighter on Sam's arms because he was more emotional than him . He was just trying not to show it because Sam was not ready to know the truth yet.**

 **Sam really didn't mind the tight grip Alan had on him. He felt safe like he finally got back to the where he belonged, but he really felt like there was something missing. Alan was there but he really needed Dean, now more than ever. Right now, he needed them both . One of them was not enough.**

 **" There must be a way .. a deal or something so me and Dean can come ..the cost that you didn't let Dean give you for helping me ..anything..just anything.." he said, tears falling. He fought to stay conscious.**

 **" Ok , Sam ! Let's make a deal ok ? If I weren't able to help you in the next month...I am going to tell you all that you want to know and all your wishes will come true ..for Dean's sake, for the sake of this world! Ok ? "**

 **" I don't think I can .." Sam argued**

 **" Just trust me , ok ? You have come this far ..just wait for another month and I promise everything will be ok . We will bring you back, good as new . Now just try to close your eyes and get some rest. " Alan offered kindly , still holding him but in a softer grip .**

 **Sam was not able to argue anymore. He was losing consciousness and it was too easy to close his eyes and just give up the fight.**

 **Alan gave him his shoulder to rest on until Dean returned.**

 **# In Cas's room :**

 **Cas told Dean his own part of the story. From the minute they spilt up until that minute where they were sitting together.**

 **" So what are you going to do ? " Dean asked seriously. He was even more worried now that he knew the full truth. He was feeling more guilty and that was killing him.**

 **" Ah .. I actually don't know , but I think I need to hid from the angels and try to find my grace." Cas explained**

 **" Then we need to get you out of here " Dean offered " Like thunder " Dean added as he really needed to make sure that Cas is going to be safe**

 **" I don't think the doctors will let me out so easily " Cas hesitated**

 **"Leave it on me . We are going to get you out then we will take care of you in the bunker . We will get you back to your old self, good as knew .." Dean said getting Cas's stuff so they could leave.**

 **" Dean.." Cas called and Dean knew what was coming**

 **Dean stopped preparing the stuff . He didn't face Cas , he closed his eyes and took a deep breath after hearing him call his name " I know Cas ..I know what are you going to say and what you want to know "**

 **He turned to face Cas " I know nothing.." he said with open arms and a disappointed look in his eyes .**

 **" I have no idea about the thing outside that is helping us ..I told you everything I know on the phone and I know nothing else ..that what happened. Even you barely know something about it and ...man it was the only chance to save Sam .. without consequences. I know it is unbelievable, but I did it all before ..I gave up my soul to save him so whatever this is . . . I am going to take this path to the end .." Dean finished his words and started help Cas to get ready again.**

 **" Dean ..I trust your choice! I know howt you feel . I know what Sam means to you . I will try to get my grace back as quick as possible ..maybe then I will be able to give you more help ..I am sorry Dean "**

 **" No No No , Cas ! This is going to be fine . It is not your fault and you just take your time . You get better, we will search for your grace and when we settle down things with your people then we can find out all that we need to know. You don't need to be sorry about anything Remember that, you hear me ? "**

 **" Thanks , Dean ! " Cas offered with that small guilty smile**

 **Dean helped Cas get out of bed . He wrapped one of Cas's hands around his neck and he helped support his back with his other hand.**

 **Dean and Cas got out and the second Dean turned his eyes away from the floor to see in front of him , he saw Sam in that position and that scared the hell out of him .**

 **" Sam ! " he nearly yelled**

 **Alan got out of that * saving power * mood to answer Dean's call**

 **" Don't worry , Dean ! He is just sleeping " he said opening his eyes slowly**

 **Dean was not able to help. He just stood there trying not let Cas down while he looked surprised and worried at Sam .**

 **Before Dean was able to react, Alan carried Sam in his arms " I am going to get him to the car first . Don't worry about him "**

 **Dean was angry that he was not able to help his brother instead of the stranger then he remembered that Cas needed help as well . He gave Cas a worried look as well while he was trying to hide his anger and to control himself .**

 **" Dean .." Cas said guilty**

 **" This is going to be fine ! You said you trust me , right ? So for now we need to trust this guy because he is helping Sam . Now come on ..we need to leave before anyone notices us " he said holding him tight and helping him walk down the hall.**

 **Alan went to the car first . He waited for them with Sam in his arms . Sam was sleeping like a baby , his head resting on Alan's strong chest and his body looked so comfortable in Alan's arms . Sam's heartbeats , breath and vital indicators were getting better as this power field Alan was making around Sam's body helped heal and protect him. Sam felt safe with both Alan and Dean around.**

 **Dean and Cas made it to the car .**

 **" it would be better if you put Sam in the front seat beside you " Alan offered while Dean was opening the car**

 **" Me and Alan can stay in the back , Dean " Cas agreed as well**

 **" it is ok ! Anyway the motel we are going to stay in is close . It is not going to be a long journey " Dean said still kind of angry with Alan and aggressive towards him**

 **They got in the car and drove to the motel**

 **( x )**

 **They made it to the hotel. Dean got out of the car, slamming the door shut. Dean helped Cas t out and Alan carried Sam again . Dean bocked a room with an extra bed as he was not going to leave Cas with Alan and he was not going to let Alan to stay with them.**

 **They went to the room . Dean helped Cas to sit on one of the beds and Alan put Sam on another one .**

 **Sam started to wake up " De'n " he mumbled trying to open his eyes**

 **" Sammy ! " Dean made it to Sam in one large step**

 **Sam opens his eyes to find Dean and Alan beside him .**

 **" It is ok , Sammy ! We are in the motel . Get some rest " Dean said worried, searching Sam's face attempting to know what he was feeling.**

 **Alan went to get an empty glass cup . He held it in his hand for a second and then a shining liquid appeared. It slowly filled the cup .**

 **Alan got closer to Sam again. He handed the cup to Dean " Help him to drink this . It is better than medicine..even better than alcohol " he said with a small smile . Trying to make all that tension Dean had - because of him - fade away.**

 **Dean was going to ask what it was but Sam didn't give him a chance. He drank it in one shot without stopping like a man who spent all his life in a desert and finally someone came with water.**

 **" Easy boy! " Dean said feeling more worried as he helped Sam to sit straight while he drank.**

 **Sam went back to laying down. He was asleep before anyone could speak to him.**

 **Before Dean could say anything Alan was already out of the room saying that he must leave as he had things to do .**

 **It became a peaceful night after Alan left and all of them were able to rest.**

 **# In the morning:**

 **Dean went out to get breakfast. He really enjoyed the funny things Cas was doing since they both woke up . Being human with causing Cas to act crazy and Dean was glad to help Cas to get used to it .**

 **Dean came back with coffee and breakfast. The next couple of hours were so peaceful. Sam was sleeping , Dean and Cas were enjoying their time with lessons about how to be human . Dean was the hero of those hours, being fun and helping his friend.**

 **When Sam started to wake up . Cas and Dean rushed beside him, waiting for him to wake up completely.**

 **" Sammy .." Dean called softly. Placing a hand on Sam's chest**

 **" Sam .." Cas repeated**

 **" Dean ..Cas " Sam replied . He was feeling much better.**

 **" How are you feeling now ?" Dean asked helping him to sit up straight**

 **" I am fine . Actually I feel great " Sam answered looking at both of them**

 **Cas and Dean gave a look at each other, eyes filled with worry and surprise . Dean was still holding Sam's arm.**

 **" Sam ! You ..are feeling..really..really fine? " Dean asked again**

 **" I feel the best I have ever felt " Sam said turning his sight between them and then he stood up walking like he was reborn.**

 **"Where's Alan? " Sam asked**

 **" Ah ..he said that he had things to do " Dean hesitated . He really didn't know if that was enough to ease his brother's curiosity.**

 **" Anyway! I called a friend of mine . She is a witch . She will meet us at the bunker after a couple of days . So we need to get ready and have enough rest. It will take us a while to find Cas's grace "**

 **" Yeah that is great ..but ..we need to find Alan first " Sam said raising his index finger**

 **" Oh really?! Come on man ! He is not a baby . He will find his way back when everything is done ..besides we don't need him anymore. You said you are fine . So the job is done ..Why the hell do you want to find him again? " Dean asked angry, almost yelling at him .**

 **" I need him because this damn s*** is not done yet ! We have something in common. There are things that I don't remember about myself..like I had a past life or something..give me my laptop..I need to search for it " Sam yelled back while he was searching for his laptop**

 **Dean was surprised and all that he can do was to help Sam to find out more information.**

 **The next couple of hours they spent it searching for anything to help same**

 **Then Sam found something.**

 **" Dean .." he said with a alarm in his voice. Something beyond the supernatural was coming**

 **" This is not good .." Sam said . Dean went over to have a look .**

 **" That can't be real .." Dean could not believe it . It made him angrier than he already was. " Damn it ..Damn it " Dean yelled, ready to destroy anything in front of him.**

 **" Dean ! Calm down and tell me what it is? " Cas said trying to help calm Dean down .**

 **Sam sighed " It says that .. the people from the fifth world turned into humans after they killed themselves ...the legend said that the last two men in the fifth world had to make a choice which one was going to end his misery and join human kind and who was going to take all of that burden on his shoulders ..these men were called Alea and Sea and in English it means Sam and Alan .. that means me .."**

 **" It is all s*** ..that can't be true .." Dean said pacing the room like a crazy man . He was not able to control himself.**

 **" It is the only thing that makes sense , Dean ?! Why would he help us without making us pay back if we weren't from there just like him ..it is written here that Sea told Alea that he is going to help his hero who killed himself first to help the human kind ..you know we just need to ask him about all of that ..we can only get the whole and real truth from him ..we really can't understand everything unless we ask him .."**

 **They all looked at each other. They understood each other even without talking . Both of them held the necklaces that Alan put around their necks to summon him.**


	7. Chapter 7

**_A\N : So this is me again . I know late as always , but I hope you will forgive me . Good things take time ._**

 ** _shadowdancer33996 : Hope you will like it . You wondered about Dean's reaction and I hope that what I wrote is going to be good enough for you . I hope you will made it to here and I hope I will get a wonderful review from you as well . Please enjoy this as much as possible_** .

They both closed their eyes and waited. Dean took a deep breath hoping that everything would end soon. Sam was just concentrating, hoping that Alan would answer their call .

" Nothing is happening.." Cas said after a couple of minutes without Alan arriving there.

" Great ! That's just what we need, A runaway monster and we don't know what he is capable of . Welcome to the the * End of the world * for the millionth time " Dean said after opening his eyes, feeling even more angry than he was .

Dean threw himself burying his face in his hands when Dean said nothing . He was just setting there , concentrating like he was a couple of minutes ago. He seemed to be in another world , he seemed to be so far away from the place and the time they were all in.

" The next time I am see this son of… " Dean was going to continue and say "I'm gonna kill him " but was cut off by a knock at the door.

Cas opened the door as he was the closest one to it . Sam opened his eyes taking a deep breath, he found Alan in front of him . He sighed and then he placed the hand that was holding the half ring he had around his neck down .

" Alan!" Sam said with relief . He had a small doubt that Alan might not come even if he was able to feel him getting closer . He was able to feel every single cell in his body breathing even better with his power field getting closer . He was just afraid that Alan might not be ready for the confrontation, but he needed to do it now. He needed to understand.

" Finally ! The charming prince from the other world landed safely in our modest room " Dean

said sarcastically and angrily waving his arms in the air .

" So are we going to beg you to come or what " Dean continued getting angrier and not knowing how to control himself or maybe at that point he lost his desire to control himself. It was just his way of protecting himself and his brother. That was his way of hiding his fears and worries of whatever unknown things they were going to face .

" Dean.." Sam called trying to calm him down

" No , Sam !" Dean was going into big brother mode now.

" I came when Sam called " Alan answered simply, sounding sad and tired.

" Then what ? I was the problem? Or you just like him better or something?" Dean asked gruffly raising his eyebrows.

It just seemed to be the same scene they had couple of years ago . When Cas didn't answer all of Sam calls and then he answered Dean's first one .

" I don't think you need me to tell you that me and Sam have a special bond " Alan answered closing his eyes to keep himself calm .

Hearing those words Dean was not able to respond. He was just hurting, like he was losing his brother to a stranger. Even if he was so close of being a friend . At this time Dean asked himself about how Sam felt when Cas answered his call . He was able to understand that talk he had with Sam in that church a couple of days ago . He was able to know how did Sam felt when he said those words . He knows that Sam would never put Alan in front of him , but at that time even that was not enough to stop that feeling. That hurt more than a little bit and for Sam he knew that at times that it hurt more than hell.

After hearing those words Dean just stood there with wide eyes looking at Alan not knowing what to say . He felt like the words were just fading from his head.

" You know like you have with Cas" Alan added

" Don't you dare.." Dean warned gruffly. He was still affected so it came out weaker and more hesitant than he wanted it to .

" I will not do that ever ! Cas is the hero and he is your only friend and you fight so you do not lose him . I wound never dare compare myself to him . I know I will lose and I know he is a lot better " Alan said looking directly into Dean's eyes. He also raised his hands in the air while he was talking, to show Dean that he gave in and that Dean was the winner before the start of the talk .

Before Sam was able to search Dean's face to know what he was thinking and what he was feeling, Cas's spoke and interrupted the highly electric moment " I think it would be better if I go out and give you some time to talk " Cas offered not sure how he should feel at that moment

" No , Cas ! " Dean voice became louder and more confident now. Like it always was when it came to someone that he cares for . The protective mood was turn on and Dean was going to take that to the last point it can go to .

" You are going to stay ! You are a friend and you are our family . This is not what we are going to discuss anyway to discuss what we need to discuss we need you here. You might help us , Cas ! Plus this is your motel room , anyone bothers you here we don't let him past this door alive " he said with a warning smile, without a hint of jest.

" Yeah is not what we are going to discuss.." finally it was Sam's turn to speak. He needed to interfere or therem was going to nothing less than a war . He knew that Alan would never hurt any them , but Alan didn't seem to be in the best mood . That challenge and the rough look in his eyes said that he was ready to start a fight and that was going to turn out to be the end of the world or at least something bigger than the world war.

" I called because I need to understand, Alan ! I read something on the internet and I am believing it , but I know that the full truth I can only get it from you .." Sam was explaining and then Alan interrupted.

" Sam! I asked you to give me one month no more . After that you aren't not going to need me , until then I am helping your body and your soul with my power. So please don't dig into this any further." He said a lot softer and his rough looks turned to be kind.

" No , I won't! Look at you ! Look at what all of this doing to you ! You are sacrificing yourself for me and I don't even know why. I can feel it in my soul. I can feel that I have lived with you even if I cannot remember it . I look at you and I know you are more than my savior and I am a lot more than a brave man who is trying to save the world . " Sam was very emotional . He was in that mindset where he could use his skills at talking to know the truth . He just tried to convince Alan to talk . He needed him to talk.

" Sam ! I can't do this , ok ? You said it yourself you can feel it , if you remember that it will be worse than hell , ok ? It would be like you are a D.I.D patient, you will be two in one and your body will not be able to take that burden, and your mind will not be able to take all that suffering" Alan said while they were looking directly at each other . It was so hard for both of them.

Sam looked at the ground trying to prevent himself from becoming more emotional.

" Being that man before that is what helped me across the road until now , don't you think ? I have lost my soul , I have been in hell and I have been in much worse things , yeah I know that every time I got up on my feel again because I had people to help me , but I can feel it now . I can feel that was not about the demon blood or being a part of demonic plan or being a vassal for an angel. A part of it is having that Sea inside of me , that part of me that made me a believer, that told me I have to wait because some day you were going to come ." Sam pushed again

" Sam.." Alan whispered desperately. He really wanted to get him away from that idea. He wanted to protect him

" No , Alan ! This is not an illusion. I can feel it inside my soul." Sam interrupted.

" Ok , Sam ! I will tell you the story and you promise me that you will not dig any further and you will leave whatever is left of Sea sleeping in your soul ." Alan offered

" That seems to be a fair deal " Sam accepted and they all waited to hear the story.

4h agoCas tried to concentrate more to help them with any information he might remember about Alan . Dean crossed his arms against his chest in a protective position waiting to hear .

" Like you know my people were so powerful and that was because they were feeding on..souls. That was the reason they suffered so much and their lives where unbearable. They loved the human kind and they were not able to feed on them . They weren't able to eat souls that belong to good people and the souls of bad people is kind of a poisonous to us . My people got sick because they were not able to feed , the strongest people fed on the weakest until no one was strong anymore and we became sic. When meant we would die and then we would fade . So they decided to kill themselves when they were a little stronger, that way they would be able to find their way to be human or to be a part of any other world. Sea's role comes from here , he was the strongest that time and he fed our people then..he killed them with his hands as some of them had no courage to do it themselves " a tear was falling on his check now

" Sea was ready to go but then I was there . I was young and sick . He took care of me and fed me and then sone day he told me about how much he wanted to be human. He told me about his undefinable desire of wanting a hero . When you were there you wanted a hero and got me instead , I'd be disappointed too " Alan said with more tears falling from his eyes.

" You killed yourself. You didn't want me to do it as you knew how much that was going to hurt me , but you had to do it in front of my eyes and you know.."

Sam didn't let him finish " And that broke your soul apart " Sam said raising his eyebrows

" You asked me for forgiveness, but I never had a chance to tell you that I forgive you " Alan said with a ad smile as he tried to stop crying

" Is there any way that we all can meet . Even in a dream?" Sam asked emotionally after a moment of silence that left him with all kinds of questions.


End file.
